In the mean time, I am going to turn my attention to the Rocky marathon on AMC tonight. For those who don't know, I LOVE the Rocky movies (as I sit here right now, I can see the 20th anniversary 5-pack of VHS tapes that I bought in 1996). I know I have discussed this with many people in the past, but I'm not sure I have ever put it on paper. So here for the first time, my rankings and favorite things about every movie.
1. Rocky IV
This is all you need to know: Apollo is killed by a Russian boxer. Rocky vows to get revenge, but has to go to Russia on Christmas Day to fight Drago. While in Russia, Rocky has some amazing training scenes. He trains by running up snowy mountains, lifting boulders, chopping wood and doing sit-ups in the barn. Meanwhile, Drago is getting steroid injections and training in a gym with state of the art equipment. During the fight, Rocky is able to turn the Russian crowd against Drago and after he wins, his speech effectively ends the cold War. How many fictional movie characters can say that? Seriously, he ended the Cold War.
Some of my other favorite things about the movie:
- James Brown performs prior to the Apollo Creed-Drago fight. It is so over the top and perfect for the situation (although I didn't understand that for the first 47 times I saw it).
- What is great is how dated this movie is - I mean, a robot...really, a robot? Is that what rich people had back in 1985? A robot?
- Bridget Nielson, who many of you might only know as the woman who was sleeping with Flavor Flav, plays a prominent role as Drago's wife.
- As expected, Rocky's trainer beats the Russian bodyguard in chess. Of course he did. Americans always beat Russians in everything. (sorry, I still call them Russians although technically it was the Soviet Union at the time.)
- Rocky outruns a KGB car in the snow. Then he helps a horse cart that tipped over in the snow.
- No cellphones, so Rocky was totally surprised by Adrian's arrival. If that was 2010, he would have know about it before she left the States and would have totally been distracted thinking about it. She would have single-handedly made him lose. Instead, she shows up and Rocky gets even more motivated because he knows how much she loves and supports him.
- Rocky gets knocked down 6 times, thrown down 1 time and saved by the ropes at least 3 times. At some point, shouldn't the ref have stopped the bout?
- How unreal is that the Soviet crowd turns on Drago? There is a 0 chance that happens in real life.
Favorite line #1: Before his match with Creed when they tap gloves, Drago simply says "You will lose."
Favorite line #2: After his fight with Apollo. "If he dies, he dies."
Favorite line #3: During the training montage after Adrian arrives in Russia, he runs to the top of the mountain and yells: "Dragooo. Draggooo. Draggggoooo". It is an amazing aerial shot that you have to give the producer kudos for. Does anyone actually know where this was shot?
Favorite line #4: After Round 1, Rocky says he sees three of them out there. Paulie counters with "Hit the one in the middle"
Favorite line #5: After round 2, Rocky's trainer screams at him "You cut him. You see, he's not a machine. He's a man"
Favorite line #6: During THE speech..."Here you had two guys killing each other , but I guess that's better than 20 million"
Favorite line #7: Again during THE speech..."If I can change...and you can change...everybody can change!"
I never cease smiling while watching this masterpiece.
2. Rocky III
Definitely not a masterpiece, but the most bang for your buck if you like fight sequences. Two fights against Clubber Lang. Brief clips against multiple chump challengers and of course, the charity bout against ThunderLips (aka Hulk Hogan). Interestingly enough, this almost ended Hogan's career before it exploded as Vince McMahon was against Hogan doing the movie and actually fired him from the company before the reconciled a few years later. Also, not lost on me was the ending, which is eerily similar to how Ali beat Frazier in Rumble in the Jungle.
Favorite line #1: Clubber Lang before his second fight with Rocky gets asked what his prediction for the bout was. He simply says, "Pain"
Favorite Line #2: Small talk with mickey before the ThunderLips fight, Rocky asks "Wow, he's awful big. Hey, Mick, how much do you think he eats?" Mickey, the quick-whitted guy that he is, says "About 202 pounds" Of course, this is how much Rocky weighs.
Oh, and did I mention that this is the most homoerotic of all the Rocky movies? It never stops - Apollo kisses Paulie at ringside; Apollo and Rocky wearing those short shorts while working out in California (of course at the time there was nothing wrong with them, but now it just seems weird); Apollo saying Rocky owes him something at the end of the fight with a wink and of course, Rocky and Apollo jumping into each others arms in the ocean. I mean, no one can argue with that.
3. Rocky
This is without a doubt the best movie of the 5 (in fact, I think it won an Oscar). Yet, it is only my third favorite. When I was first introduced to the series in high school, it was through Rocky IV and I instantly fell in love with the training montages and of course the music. I mean, it was awesome stuff to train to even if it was cheesy. I know that if I turn on Rocky Iv at any time, I will be treated to some sort of cheap thrill. The original Rocky on the other hand needs to be digested in one sitting. You can't just turn it on halfway through and watch a few scenes. You need to watch the whole thing because it is telling a story.
Worst part: I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that Rocky should have been investigated for sexual assault on Adrian in the house. The guy basically cornered her.
4. Rocky II
There is nothing wrong with this movie, it's just that it does nothing for me. Here's the thing - Rocky II was a movie lost in transition. Rocky was a brilliant movie in itself. They could have ended the franchise after Rocky lost and it would have been fine. I think the reaction was probably so positive that the directors realized they could milk some more money out of it. So they made Rocky II and had Rocky beat Apollo in the closest of fashions. They both fell down and Rocky got up on 9 while Apollo failed to get up. I know that Apollo was larger than life going into the fight and I'm sure that Rocky winning in that fashion was appropriate at the time, but now, it just doesn't do anything for me. Also, there is the least amount of boxing but the biggest amount of Rocky's home life.
5. Rocky V
The Voldemort of Rocky movies. It is just better if we never mention it. Ok, I do want to mention one thing. The beginning of Rocky V implies that they just got off the plane from Russia when he gets challenged by Union Cane. Ok, so even though there was 5 years in between movies, within the storyline, no time has passed. YET somehow Rocky's son is now 12 or 13 when he was probably 6 or 7 in Rocky IV. I'm no idiot.
NA. Rocky Balboa
I assumed this movie would be terrible, but was pleasantly surprised. Even though the technology was light years ahead of what was available in previous movies, they didn't overdo it. They sprinkled it in to help what was a very credible storyline. I liked the grittiness of the movie and I appreciated how they actually talked about Adrian, instead of just pretending we wouldn't notice that she wasn't in the movie. I also thought they nailed the relationship between Rocky and his son. With Stallone in his 60's, this was the only way for the movie to work. It had to be about the characters and not about fight. I thought it was really good. BUT, I have only seen it twice AND it was shot nearly 18 years after the last edition, so for now, it will get an incomplete ranking. I just don't think I can at this point rate it against the others.
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